looking for the reason

I´m looking for a season,

to have a reason to begin,

There´s everything after and things before me,

There´s things I have seen and heard,

Couldn't quite make out all the words,

I stand here staring at the birds in the morning,

Red sky take warning to the seas,

I keep on saying what I wanted  and what I thought about everything,

Sometimes I wake up in a sweat and my heart beating,

Time has passed me by, I´m almost 45 and still have dreams,

Am I still living life like I wanted to or am I still searching for whats true,

Into the skies I see the perfect blue to me and the clouds go by to lead my way...